Mar 31:  /  Strong coffee is about all I can handle. I’m not sure how the “gifted” people handle cocaine, except that it seems to be a great ice breaker for sexy-sexy, I have heard. Morning Caffeine Blast Disinformation, MCB # 71. (Saturday)

Mar 30:  /  Sleep, It’s what’s for breakfast. MCB #70. Z-z-z-z. (Friday)

Mar 29:  /  Shameless plug in today’s Morning Caffeine Blast, number 69!! Not the show “Shameless” although that’s good too. No, I mean this:

Punchline Punchout!   Thursday, March 29 at 8:00pm at The Comedy Corner Underground

Eric Peter DeWolff MCB, #69! The Punchline Punchout! shows have been great! Join the fun. (Thursday)

Mar 28:  /  Clicked “Like” the Power. There’s no “Fight” button, and it might just work against me. Your Demographic Here With Attitude. Morning Caffeine Blast # 68. Hey, tomorrow is the next number! (Wednesday)

Mar 27:  /  Bad Ideas: Black Dahlia Day Care, Stalker Dating Service. MCB, #67. (Tuesday)

Mar 26:  /  Do you think that Cerberus, the dog that guards the Gates of Hell, was cute as a puppy? Considering his future (and present) job, I bet house breaking him wasn’t that bad. This has been a Morning Caffeine Blast, #66a. Monday)

             /  Win-fail combo. Yesterday I tried to lint-roller my black angora cat, Yuki. Now I have these furry maracas. Sure, she’s vexed, but hey, furry maracas! MCB, #66b.

Mar 25:  /  The early bird just told me to keep it down, avians are trying to sleep. Worms be just stoopid. MCB, #65. (Sunday)

Mar 24:  /  It’s wrong to name your kid(s) “Pimp”. Make them earn it like the rest of the degenerates.  This was inspired by walking around Target yesterday, in Edina. MCB, #64. (When I’m Sixty-four, The Beatles) (Saturday)

Mar 23:  /  Technology hasn’t helped cheapskates. Tip calculator for a tight-wad? Stiff ’em.  I recommend giving a decent tip when you can, unless the service is just crazy bad. MCB, #63. (Friday)

Mar 22:  /  This is an actual question for “Lifetime Achievement” level Slackers, you know who you are: How long can a person get away with “Screw this!” before it backs up on you? I’m on an extraordinary run. Possibly karma has quit. Answer in private if you must, in public if you’re willing. I know at least 3 of you who are qualified to answer, wisely even. (and some posers. That’s posers, not Pfosers. I digress.) MCB, #62. (Thursday)

Mar 21:  Just brain-storming: 1) People fear both squirrels and clowns. 2) “Cats” was a Broadway hit. 3) A world premiere of “Squirrels Dressed as Clowns”.  Morning Caffeine Blast, #61. (Wednesday)

Mar 20:  /  Apologies and a request for tolerance if this crosses your “stupid” line. Tough day ahead. Tracy Lee and I will be reluctantly trying to do the right thing for an old friend, her tomcat, Linus. Relief from pain can be a kindness, but it still will be difficult. Maybe tomorrow more “Yuck’em ups”, as one of our friends would say. Correctly altered for today as the Mourning Caffeine Blast, #60. (Tuesday)

Mar 19:  / Everything is radiant with chaos. If there is a balance to all things, people make thing wobble & jiggle. MCB, #59. (Monday)

Mar 18:  /  Lake Nokomis yesterday, 3:45-4:30 One lap. The wind was pushing ice shards onto the West beaches & in particular the boat launch. Sounds of waves+jingles/crinkles=awesome. I have never seen or heard that. MCB, #58. (Sunday)

Mar 17:  /  My bracket is looking pretty great. Just a couple more days and I should be able to turn in a flawless effort. It seems pretty easy, if you follow the scores. another Morning Caffeine Blast (of confusion on St Patty’s), #57. (Saturday)

Mar 16:  I anticipate greatness in the Saint Patrick’s Day Brain Cell Challenge. Hah! Facebook wants to know if I mean SaintMae, Saint Patrick Ryan Bauer or SaintPat Susmilch. Yes, I mean them precisely. This has been a Morning Caffeine Blast, #56. (Friday)

Mar 15:  /  Hey everybody, It’s Scott Brady’s birthday. I’d like to thank his family, friends and other antagonists for helping form his values, making him the Scott we all know. Special VIP Morning Caffeine Blast, #55. (Thursday)

Mar 14:  /  It’s the first class since spring break. 9 am. The early bird sucks worms. MCB, #54. (Wednesday)

Mar 13:  /  Serious sounding statement + supporting facts, mix in a few sharply worded barbs, add a big finish = self important Facebook Post. Receive accolades and scorn.  This is a Morning Caffeine Blast, #53. (Tuesday)

Mar 12:  / I ‘ve learned that the games Gardens of Time & Hidden Chronicles can be played by cleaning your own “real” house. Enjoy the phrase, “So that’s where this went!” Morning Caffeine Blast, #52. (Monday)

Mar 11:  /  I tried to list with Klout & was sent instead to winkie, dweeb, putz & drooler. I achieved statuses of Turn-in-your-phone, Get-off-our-side and my favorite, Go-flush-your-head-in-a-toilet. MCB, #51. (Sunday)

Mar 10:  /  Laughter is the best medicine, and the best medicine makes you laugh. MCB #50.(Saturday)

 Mar 9:  /  Here’s a note to all of you who missed it @ ‘Yes & Food’ tonight: Please know that something TOTALLY inappropriate happened . . and it was great! Several Times! Also posted in DeWolff Pack. #49. (Friday)

Mar 8:  /  A Bloody Mary would be a fine wake-up call this morning. Best places fo a Bloody Mary in the Twin Cities, anyone? Another Morning Caffeine Blast (or other substitute), #48. (Thursday) 

Mar 7:  / Thinks the birthday party is just getting started for Ms Tracy Lee! MCB, #47. (Wednesday)

Mar 6:  /  I still maintain that the return of Jesus means a lot of people would be getting slapped. Hard! This has been a Morning Caffeine Blast, #46. (Tuesday)

Mar 5:  /  Earth–what’s up with that? MCB, #45. (Monday)

Mar 4:  /  As I look to the future, I think things are going to be alright. All the people are screwed, but the things . . . they are going to be alright. This has been a Morning Caffeine Blast, #44. (Sunday)

Mar 3:  /  Man, it really looks like that Justin Colucci joke outside right now. Morning Caffeine Blast (Special Twin Cities version) #43. (Saturday)

Mar 2:  / Movie terror? Money! GF wakes up screaming at 5:45am? Bonus, because I’ve got a screamer.  Whitney Houston & Davy Jones say “Hello”.  Also, Peter Falk has some unfinished business. I had forgotten what it’s like to sleep with the Demonically Posessed–silly man that I am.  That was the Morning Caffeine Blast, #42. (Friday) 

Mar 1:  /  Technically, I’m cheating the spirit of the Morning Caffeine Blast if I’m not hopped up on coffee or goofinthall, but I’m in Monkee-Mourning for the whole “I’m not Whitney – My name is Davy Jones” passing of Davy Jones. MCB #41. (Thursday)